Those Dumb Emails

Have you ever gotten one of these emails ? Emails like this ....

" What your sleeping position says about you ...

Foetus
Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax. This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey.

Log
Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible...

Yearner
People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds... and their mothers are so fat, they have to buy 2 air plane tickets ... Are you still reading this ?

Soldier
Yada yada .... Polly wants a cracker, your mother's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks, your mother's so fat she needs a watch on both arms cause she covers 2 time zones ... Can't believe you're still reading this ....

Freefall
Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and ...... yada yada ..... ZZZZZzzzzzzzz "

What a load of horse shit .....

Those people who do these surveys clearly have too much time on their hands.

I mean .... does this mean that there are only 6 positions that people sleep in every night?

What about those people who sleep like this ?

"The Retarded Puppy position"

"This kind of sleeper requires a lot of attention and are sometimes regarded as social retards"

"The Oxygenless Zen"

"This kind of sleeper requires no oxygen while sleeping. Nobody knows how they've survived until today ..."

I mean it's bloody ridiculous to say that if you sleep that way, you're this kind of person.

And let's not even begin to talk about those couple sleeping positions. I won't even bother copying and pasting the descriptions for these ...

Firstly, how does sleeping positions with somebody determine the state of the relationship? Look at this position above, if me and my future wife slept that way, we'd both in trouble I tell you... We'd both suffocate one day. And what about morning breath man ? Nothing stops romance more effectively than morning breath. Mannn

Sleeping this way .... wouldn't it be more practical then?

And what's with the depressing analysis for this manlah? The poor dude probably fell off and was climbing back onto the bed. And you go tell the poor wife that her husband's going to leave her. Kanasai.

Now look here, the way I sleep with my future wife does NOT determine my love for her. My leg crosses boundaries when I sleep I tell you. And I reckon it's probably not going to change when I marry my future wife...

Hey dear .... why are you pouting? Hey you're leaving ? .... Oh come on now ....

Whoops .....

Anyway, so if I were to go for one of these dumbass studies, there'd probably be a category called this ...

The kicker

This type of couple will not last long. The husband feels terribly insecure and feels prompted to display his utmost dissatisfaction in the relationship only through his sleep. Note the precise place in which his legs are positioned, no doubt a sign of underlying violence and abuse

I'll give the dude who does the study a kick all right ....

A whole load of kanasai ...

Same way why I never read horrorscopes and zodiacs and whatever it is they put in the newspapers and magazines.

So if I were to classify myself under the modern zodiac, I'd have like a whole set of traits that define my personality. Oh wait, I was born in the year of the dog, so that's a different set of traits altogether. I'm confused .....

So similarly, if there are 12 zodiacs does that mean that there are only 12 types of characters of people in this entire world? You'd think the good Lord up there would've used his noggin more and been more creative ...

Here's the description for my zodiac

ARIES

People who were born in this section of the year have unusually strong will power and great obstinacy of purpose. They are usually born to be fighters in every sense of the world: they have also the greatest ability as organizers on a large scale. They find themselves as the organizers of big schemes or as the heads of big businesses, and also in the organization and development of countries. They seem naturally to resent all criticism, and the only way to offset this in them is by quiet logic, reason, and proof. These people are usually independent in everything they do. It is really important for them to do everything in their own way, and if they are intervene with other people they generally loose the shapes of the main purpose, step back and let the other person take their place. As a rule they are unhappy in their domestic life. Yet these people, be they men or women, deeply, fervently and strongly desire for affection and sympathy, more than anything else, and this is generally the rock on which they are finally wrecked if they have not the good fortune to meet their right affinities. As far as material success or power is concerned, there are no heights to which persons born in this sign wouldn’t be able to. Success, however, is not making them feel really happy and satisfied. They are inclined to lack caution, being by nature impulsive and quick in thought and action. They are and inclined to mike enemies very easily. They are enormously ambitious, as a rule they succeed in life and gain money and position. The lower type of this sign will stick at nothing to accomplish their purpose.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The only thing I find even remotely interesting about zodiacs is the nice pictures and paintings people have come up with ...

Like this one.... pretty nice though the muscle man looks quite gross and a bit gay

There you go. That's pretty decent. Nothing more decent than a picture of 2 girls and an animal ...

I think the motherload is probably those e-mails that go something like this ....

Horoscope Test...

If you are honest this tells the truth - it's pretty good Write your answers on a piece of paper. No cheating !! The answers are at the bottom of this page.

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more?

9. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat)

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ZZzzzZZzzZZZzzzZZZ

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ZzzZzZZzzzZzzzZZZZZzzZzZZzzZz
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1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - you are conservative and aggressive. Green - your soul is relaxed and you are laid back Blue - you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love to give in friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last long and the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you chose..... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

8. If you chose: Sydney: You like adventure. Brisbane: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday!

Even the first question and answer's got me sniggering already. So what happens if you were just thinking of your Auntie Barbara who bought you char kuey teow an hour ago and wrote that down? So? You in love with your auntie is it ? Kanasai lar ..

And how about question 3? Oh mum, why in the world did you name me Jason? Now I'm forever doomed to 'have a lot to give in friendships in life'.

Are there really people who believe all this baloney ?

Oh come on ... grow up already~!

Kanasai~!