Those Quaint Little Indian Barber Shops

I went for a hair cut the other day. At one of those typical Indian barber shops you find along the road. I suddenly missed my childhood days

You see, growing up, I used to hate barbers. Especially those Indian ones who always carry those shaver-machine thingies. I used to think those were torture devices from back in the 18th century. They look something like this ...

Authentic Indian shaver device used to

inflict incredible pain on people in the 18th Century

Okay so I'm lying, the picture isn't authentic. I got it on Google images. But you get my drift....

Anyway I really hated it cause the barber I used to go to as a kid had a particlarly old and noisy one that would vibrate so badly whenever he shaved the edges of my hair, I was quite sure I'd eventually develop seizures in the later part of my life...

Thank God I didn't ..... cause I don't think moving and jerking around in an incoherent manner while dancing counts ....

And those blades man. Here, I must explain to you that I was really tickly as a kid. As in really really touch-my-armpit-with-a-feather-and-I-get-giggly kind of tickly. In fact I used to just imagine that someone was tickling my armpits and I'd get all giggly.

No ....... I wasn't on schizophrenia medication as a kid ......

Stop looking at me like that please ....

You know the last part of the hair cut where the dude would hold your head down and shave off those bits at the end of your hair, boy was that a nightmare for me. The dude would scrape like ... the most sensitive area ... behind the neck. Hell I tell you.

I had to grit my teeth everytime that part came. Sometimes I couldn't control it and red sores would appear after the cut. And I still remember this particular incident where this mother was telling her son this ...

"See .... you shake shake alound somemorelar. Naughty somemorelar. Aftards uncer cut off your head then you noe. Like that ko ko therelor. He so veli naughty one"

Eh hello auntie kanasai you ...... that ko ko thinks you have no manners leh ..... Oh and by the way go take some English lessons man ... call 1-800-YOU-BIATCH

The thing I really admire about those Indian barbers is the amount of quality control and consistency in ALL of their works.

In other words ar, I'm trying to say that they usually have like ... only 1 style that they know.

You could tell them potong pendek, tapi atas ini tinggal panjang sikit. You'd probably end up with this ..

You could tell them potong tepi sahaja, lain-lain kemaskan. You'd still probably end up with this ..

Heck you could even tell them Eh boss, tak mahulah, tak mahu potong. Thank you. And the guy would probably grab you, tie you up in the chair, give you the hair cut of your life so that you'd still look like this ..

That's pretty kanasai man ..

The thing with these Indian barbers is that they don't stop. Once they're on a roll, they just go snip snip and slash and snip. It's like they're in a trance-like state or something.

... Like that Heroes dude who can paint the future ...

I remember once when i wanted to have rather short hair so that I could gel it up and make it stand. The dude got all excited and just couldn't stop snipping away. I think if I hadn't stopped him I'd be quite hairless at the end of the day.

And even when I did tell him to stop (in the most polite way imaginable) he looked at me like I'd just killed Uncle Maniam or something. I think to them it's like a fine art that they strive to maintain.

Whatever it is, me being a non-metrosexual male...... I'll probably not switch to those snazzy hair saloons anytime soon ..... After all, who else can give you a simple hair cut for less than 10 bucks ?

To the Indian barber in Mega Mendung whose shop I've gone to since I was a kid .... cheers to you man ... here's to many more years down the road ..